Now degu’s are a bit
like mice
With fluffy tails.
They’re rather nice,
But there is little that
they do
But eat and poo and chew
and chew
And chew and chew and chew
and chew.
All degus are extremely
small,
You’d think they’d do
no harm at all,
But they don’t like to
be ignored.
Degu’s are dangerous
when bored!
Now Granny’s house, I’m
telling you
Is really much too big for
two.
And so she rents one of
the ends
To people who become her
friends.
This time they had a
couple who
Were rather young and just
come new.
The girl, was small and
very neat,
And boy was bigger. Both
were sweet.
They’d got together and
thought “Let’s
Have lots and lots and
lots of pets.”
They had a fish tank, very
big,
A rabbit and an guinea
pig,
Three terrapins that
snapped in rage,
And three small degus in a
cage.
The flat was new and
bright and clean
They had a posh new wash
machine.
It looked good, but it
caused them trouble,
It caused them trouble on
the double.
That posh machine had
flooded twice
And, though the fixing man
was nice,
They’d both tired of the
flooding scene
And cursed that “posh”
washing machine.
Back to the degus. They
were bored
And feeling they had been
ignored.
For they’d been stuck
inside their cage
For what, to them, seemed
age on age.
They’d run around,
jumped on the floor.
They’d chewed the hinges
on the door,
They’d ran around the
little passages
They scratched and gave
each other massages.
Then said “There’s
nothing we can do.
It’s boring here. I’m
telling you.”
But then one gave a joyous
shout
“I’ve found a way of
getting out!
Just push hard on this
little door,
Climb out and then we can
explore.”
They ran around in every
space
They found in our young
tenant's place
They chewed the aerial of
the telly
They sniffed the shoes,
got in a welly,
And then one degu shouted
“Cripes!
Just look at these
enormous pipes.
They smell good and they
look fantastic
And taste of most
delicious plastic.
Come here and join me!
Yes please do.
We’ll all have a
terrific chew.”
(The pipes the degus had
just seen
Brought water to the wash
machine
Because they bent, Gran
had to settle
For plastic pipes, not
pipes of metal.)
The degus chewed for hour
on hour,
Then one said “Look I’ve
made a shower!
There’s lots of water
rushing out
I’ve made a lovely water
spout.”
They bathed in it, and
washed their hair
And splished and splashed
it everywhere,
And hit the water with
their tail
And looked round for a
boat to sail.
One chewed some more.
There was a call
“Look folks, I’ve made
a water fall!”
That was the end of degu’s
play,
The water washed them
right away,
The pressure was so very
strong
It pushed the degus right
along,
And now they did not feel
so bold.
They climbed up from the
water cold,
And shivered upon little
shelves
And felt most sorry for
themselves.
And sadly watched the
flooded scene
Damp floor and leaks round
the machine.
The girl then came in
through the door
And saw the water on the
floor.
Then rushed to Granny,
face in pain
“It’s leaking on the
floor again!”
And Granny shouts to
husband, Nick,
“Another flood! Please
help us quick.
Bring towels and curtains,
bring a sheet,
Bring wellies to put on
your feet,
Bring sandbags, spades and
bring a broom
To sweep it from the
second room.
(The second room was lower
down
So anything in there might
drown!)
They mopped up water more
and more
But still they saw it on
the floor.
And soon it was extremely
plain
That what they mopped came
back again!
They turned the taps and
switched the switches,
But clearly there were
major glitches
For very fast and more and
more
The water flooded on the
floor.
The Girl who then was all
alone.
Rang partner on the the
telephone.
“Oh please come home,
the phone man’s here.
The degu’s gone. Oh dear
Oh dear,
And there is water on the
floor,
And it keeps coming, more
and more.
Degus are lost, there’s
not a squeak,
And nobody can mend the
leak.”
Then “Stop! I need you
helping ME,
Tell them it’s an
emergency!”
Then silence. Then her
voice NOT sunny.
“Stop laughing NOW. IT
is NOT funny!”
Then Nick pulled out the
wash machine
And shouted “Look what I
have seen!
Three degus hiding in the
cracks
With water running down
their backs.
The degu’s did it I will
bet.”
The girl then really got
upset.
“Look at their tiny paws
and feet
Degus are
far too, much too sweet.”
The phone man who had come
that day
Had tried to look the
other way.
He kept on working on his
own
And fiddled with the
telephone.
Then Granny shouted to him
“Hey you
Look tall enough to reach
that degu!
Come over here, stand on
this seat
And Nick will hang on to
your feet,”
And so he came, and
reached, and got ‘em.
Two by the neck, one by
the bottom..
He put them through the
cage’s door.
They ran straight out,
just like before,
And then we chased them
round the floor
And got them in the cage
at last,
And tied the door up very
fast.
By now the answer was
quite plain.
Nick turned the tap off at
the main.
And people mopped, and by
and by
The kitchen floor was
almost dry.
And luckily, since it was
summer,
They fairly quickly found
a plumber.
He fixed a new pipe that
would fit.
We kept the one the degu’s
bit,
And up on top and down
beneath,
There’s six inch marks
of degu’s teeth.
The degu’s cage has a
new door
They’re back inside –
same as before.
But now they never get
ignored.
Degus are dangerous when
bored.
Nick Mellersh. November 2006
